walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
