found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Your penis caused this!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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