Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize