i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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