I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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