I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize