for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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