Capitaan dildo arrescate!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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