it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
