Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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