I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
