So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize