Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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