can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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