We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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