Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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