Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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