I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
