Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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