I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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