If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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