i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
