He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
