is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I did not marry a roomba.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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