I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she peed on how many people?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
