shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
