I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
