I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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