you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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