It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
