This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
