everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
a search helicopter?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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