I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize