Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize