if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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