sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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