She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
