And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
