Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
