she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
