I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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