I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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