lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
