Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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