Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
