I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Your tits are I can't wait for
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
