Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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