is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
