how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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