found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Randomize
