his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
