he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
