Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
