I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
