I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
