So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
