its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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