If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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