I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize