I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is Oprah even human
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
