dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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