dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
