Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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