Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
