This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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