i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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